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Green On Red – Gas Food Lodging

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For a band whose significance as path-beaters between early '70s outlaw country and early '90s No Depressionism grows ever more indelible, Green On Red's back catalogue has been appallingly mishandled. Gas Food Lodging from 1985 (which was an Uncut Classic Album in October 2002) remains a defining example of howling country-punk, featuring Dan Stuart's vicious rasp. On the likes of "Hair Of The Dog", the music joins the dots between Merle Haggard and The Replacements. Meanwhile, the Tucson band's eponymous 1982 mini-album debut, though less fierce (Stuart had yet to explode; stinging guitarist Chuck Prophet wouldn't join for another two years), still holds a rowdy, dank-basement charm. This will do until that box set arrives.

For a band whose significance as path-beaters between early ’70s outlaw country and early ’90s No Depressionism grows ever more indelible, Green On Red’s back catalogue has been appallingly mishandled. Gas Food Lodging from 1985 (which was an Uncut Classic Album in October 2002) remains a defining example of howling country-punk, featuring Dan Stuart’s vicious rasp. On the likes of “Hair Of The Dog”, the music joins the dots between Merle Haggard and The Replacements.

Meanwhile, the Tucson band’s eponymous 1982 mini-album debut, though less fierce (Stuart had yet to explode; stinging guitarist Chuck Prophet wouldn’t join for another two years), still holds a rowdy, dank-basement charm. This will do until that box set arrives.

Lenny Bruce – Lenny Bruce Originals Vol 2

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Not just the perfect antidote to the McCarthy witch-hunt era, Lenny Bruce destroyed the false moral majority. A jazz age counterculture hero, Bruce's scattergun approach demolished smug ideas about race, sex and the politically-correct taboos we take for granted. His so-called 'sick' humour was the stand-up rap of its day?he took the N and F words and beat them to death with wit. His own life balancing on the edge, Bruce simply went further with berserk interior monologues. This second volume of carefully improvised verbal mayhem includes "The Palladium", which fuses dope, porn and disease into an abbatoir for scared cows. Crazy and unique.

Not just the perfect antidote to the McCarthy witch-hunt era, Lenny Bruce destroyed the false moral majority. A jazz age counterculture hero, Bruce’s scattergun approach demolished smug ideas about race, sex and the politically-correct taboos we take for granted. His so-called ‘sick’ humour was the stand-up rap of its day?he took the N and F words and beat them to death with wit. His own life balancing on the edge, Bruce simply went further with berserk interior monologues.

This second volume of carefully improvised verbal mayhem includes “The Palladium”, which fuses dope, porn and disease into an abbatoir for scared cows.

Crazy and unique.

Love – Comes In Colours: The Stereo Masters 1966-1969

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And more again? Australia's Raven imprint picks up the Love gauntlet with a fairly complete selection of their so-called best moments, although the set is somewhat superseded by recent remastered originals. Still, following a period of reappraisal for all things Arthur Lee, this well-packaged set won't disappoint. But then it'd be hard to go wrong with "My Little Red Book", "A Message To Pretty", a clutch of tracks from the immortal 1967 LP Forever Changes and a welcome interview with the Californian maestro himself, discussing the warped and wonderful origins of the band who launched Jac Holzman's psych-rock empire. Everyone needs a little Love in their lives. This sets the scene.

And more again? Australia’s Raven imprint picks up the Love gauntlet with a fairly complete selection of their so-called best moments, although the set is somewhat superseded by recent remastered originals. Still, following a period of reappraisal for all things Arthur Lee, this well-packaged set won’t disappoint. But then it’d be hard to go wrong with “My Little Red Book”, “A Message To Pretty”, a clutch of tracks from the immortal 1967 LP Forever Changes and a welcome interview with the Californian maestro himself, discussing the warped and wonderful origins of the band who launched Jac Holzman’s psych-rock empire. Everyone needs a little Love in their lives. This sets the scene.

Show Me The Money

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When the Aphex Twin consents to do a remix, only the na...

When the Aphex Twin consents to do a remix, only the na

Toppermost Of The Coppermost

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REGATTA DE BLANC Rating Star ZENYATTA MONDATTA Rating Star GHOST IN THE MACHINE Rating Star SYNCHRONICITY Rating Star ALL UNIVERSAL (ON DUAL-LAYER SA-CD HYBRID) Sting has been so jeered at, derided and reviled since going solo and amassing a fortune that, like one of the ecosystems to which he has drawn our attention, the global supply of bile is fast in danger of running out. Sting has certainly become musically turgid and self-important in recent years. Yet none of this should retrospectively obscure the truth that The Police were an excellent band, their excellence either begrudged or taken for granted. Reviled by some for ripping off the punk-reggae hybrid initiated by the likes of The Clash or for bleaching their hair to obscure some dubious credentials, they were nonetheless responsible for some of the most effective, well-informed and silvery pop tunes of their, or indeed any other, era. Bless old Joe, but when The Clash attempted reggae it was often like they were wearing lead boots. The Police prettily filtered through the lightness of reggae, lending their music a helium quality that elevated it to places their contemporaries could only envy. Meanwhile, they drew from punk its speed and economy. Outlandos d'Amour (1978) showcased hit singles "Roxanne", "So Lonely" and "Can't Stand Losing You", but they peaked with 1979's Regatta De Blanc, featuring "Message In A Bottle", a faultless dose of existentialist pop, "The Bed's Too Big Without You" and "Walking On The Moon", both of which introduced heart-stopping air bubbles of dub into the pop mainstream. By the end, Sting's earnestness was weighing them down as he assumed the mantle of global pop star. But even 1983's Synchronicity is worth having for "Every Breath You Take", its obsessive menace misunderstood by Puff Daddy in his still-ubiquitous cover version.

REGATTA DE BLANC

Rating Star

ZENYATTA MONDATTA

Rating Star

GHOST IN THE MACHINE

Rating Star

SYNCHRONICITY

Rating Star

ALL UNIVERSAL (ON DUAL-LAYER SA-CD HYBRID)

Sting has been so jeered at, derided and reviled since going solo and amassing a fortune that, like one of the ecosystems to which he has drawn our attention, the global supply of bile is fast in danger of running out.

Sting has certainly become musically turgid and self-important in recent years. Yet none of this should retrospectively obscure the truth that The Police were an excellent band, their excellence either begrudged or taken for granted. Reviled by some for ripping off the punk-reggae hybrid initiated by the likes of The Clash or for bleaching their hair to obscure some dubious credentials, they were nonetheless responsible for some of the most effective, well-informed and silvery pop tunes of their, or indeed any other, era.

Bless old Joe, but when The Clash attempted reggae it was often like they were wearing lead boots. The Police prettily filtered through the lightness of reggae, lending their music a helium quality that elevated it to places their contemporaries could only envy. Meanwhile, they drew from punk its speed and economy. Outlandos d’Amour (1978) showcased hit singles “Roxanne”, “So Lonely” and “Can’t Stand Losing You”, but they peaked with 1979’s Regatta De Blanc, featuring “Message In A Bottle”, a faultless dose of existentialist pop, “The Bed’s Too Big Without You” and “Walking On The Moon”, both of which introduced heart-stopping air bubbles of dub into the pop mainstream.

By the end, Sting’s earnestness was weighing them down as he assumed the mantle of global pop star. But even 1983’s Synchronicity is worth having for “Every Breath You Take”, its obsessive menace misunderstood by Puff Daddy in his still-ubiquitous cover version.

Lo Fidelity Allstars – Abstract Funk Theory

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Like their On The Floor At The Boutique mix disc from 2000, The Lo Fi Allstars' AFT collection explores the diverse origins of their acid techno-rock. Similarly eclectic bands feature here, with alternative country chamber pop from Lambchop and neo-psychedelic indie from Mercury Rev snuggling up alongside the smooth urban soul of Bill Withers, funky hip hop from New Flesh, Balearic beats from AJ Scent and Detroit techno from Derrick May's Rhythim Is Rhythim, all topped off with Al Wilson's classic Northern Soul floor-filler, "The Snake".

Like their On The Floor At The Boutique mix disc from 2000, The Lo Fi Allstars’ AFT collection explores the diverse origins of their acid techno-rock. Similarly eclectic bands feature here, with alternative country chamber pop from Lambchop and neo-psychedelic indie from Mercury Rev snuggling up alongside the smooth urban soul of Bill Withers, funky hip hop from New Flesh, Balearic beats from AJ Scent and Detroit techno from Derrick May’s Rhythim Is Rhythim, all topped off with Al Wilson’s classic Northern Soul floor-filler, “The Snake”.

Glen Campbell – Rhinestone Cowboy: The Best Of

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Like Lee Hazlewood, the smooth-toned country pop of Glen Campbell sounds more acceptable today than it ever did back in the '60s, when the cultural battle lines were more rigorously drawn. At the core of his greatest work remain "Galveston", "By The Time I Get To Phoenix" and "Wichita Lineman", the most evocative trilogy of songs ever written around American place names. All came from the pen of Jim Webb and, without him, Campbell's song selection was often less assured. But amid the schmaltz, there's at least one more timeless classic in "Guess I'm Dumb", probably the best non-Beach Boys song Brian Wilson ever wrote. Worth the price of entry for those four songs alone.

Like Lee Hazlewood, the smooth-toned country pop of Glen Campbell sounds more acceptable today than it ever did back in the ’60s, when the cultural battle lines were more rigorously drawn. At the core of his greatest work remain “Galveston”, “By The Time I Get To Phoenix” and “Wichita Lineman”, the most evocative trilogy of songs ever written around American place names. All came from the pen of Jim Webb and, without him, Campbell’s song selection was often less assured. But amid the schmaltz, there’s at least one more timeless classic in “Guess I’m Dumb”, probably the best non-Beach Boys song Brian Wilson ever wrote. Worth the price of entry for those four songs alone.

Townes Van Zandt – Absolutely Nothing

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Townes Van Zandt spent much of his last decade revisiting the masterful odes to loss, melancholy and America's frontier history he'd etched in his earlier career. Bloody vendettas ("The Hole"), death bed blues ("Lungs") and elemental wonder ("Snowin' On Raton") are recreated with steely resolve at a solo 1994 Irish show. Five previously unreleased sides recorded in 1996, just before his death, including a rendition of Ewan MacColl's "Dirty Old Town", make this a Zandtophile's delight.

Townes Van Zandt spent much of his last decade revisiting the masterful odes to loss, melancholy and America’s frontier history he’d etched in his earlier career. Bloody vendettas (“The Hole”), death bed blues (“Lungs”) and elemental wonder (“Snowin’ On Raton”) are recreated with steely resolve at a solo 1994 Irish show. Five previously unreleased sides recorded in 1996, just before his death, including a rendition of Ewan MacColl’s “Dirty Old Town”, make this a Zandtophile’s delight.

Various Artists – Glass Onion:Songs Of The Beatles

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This disc consists of 21 covers of Beatles songs by American soul and jazz artists from the Atlantic and Warner stables in the '60s and early '70s. The approaches vary from the emulative to the freely reinterpretive, but the abiding impression remains that much of what The Beatles recorded only made sense when done by them. Among the more successful efforts assembled here are covers by Aretha Franklin, King Curtis and The Meters, but the abiding question is "why?"

This disc consists of 21 covers of Beatles songs by American soul and jazz artists from the Atlantic and Warner stables in the ’60s and early ’70s. The approaches vary from the emulative to the freely reinterpretive, but the abiding impression remains that much of what The Beatles recorded only made sense when done by them. Among the more successful efforts assembled here are covers by Aretha Franklin, King Curtis and The Meters, but the abiding question is “why?”

Roxette – The Ballad Hits

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As you'd expect from a Swedish duo who took their name from a Dr Feelgood song, these are not ballads in the conventional folky sense. Rather, at their best, they're pomp-rock steamrollers, crushing the puny likes of Jennifer Rush with the mighty weight of their sentimentality. "It Must Have Been Love" was the standout tune in Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman for good reason, and "Listen To Your Heart" could easily have replaced it. A must for drama queens and pop aficionados alike.

As you’d expect from a Swedish duo who took their name from a Dr Feelgood song, these are not ballads in the conventional folky sense. Rather, at their best, they’re pomp-rock steamrollers, crushing the puny likes of Jennifer Rush with the mighty weight of their sentimentality. “It Must Have Been Love” was the standout tune in Julia Roberts’ Pretty Woman for good reason, and “Listen To Your Heart” could easily have replaced it. A must for drama queens and pop aficionados alike.

The Style Council – The Sound Of The Style Council

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Today the prospect of the leader of a top-selling British band leaving to embark on a series of genre-stretching musical adventures seems remote. What's impressive about The Style Council in retrospect is their fearlessness and energy. Though prone to clumsy songwriting and faux-soul interludes, Weller's new-found freedom is evident on "My Ever Changing Moods". Meanwhile, the storming "Walls Come Tumbling Down", the blue mood music of "Changing Of The Guard" and "It's A Very Deep Sea", and the proto-house of "Promised Land", represent some of Weller's best work.

Today the prospect of the leader of a top-selling British band leaving to embark on a series of genre-stretching musical adventures seems remote. What’s impressive about The Style Council in retrospect is their fearlessness and energy. Though prone to clumsy songwriting and faux-soul interludes, Weller’s new-found freedom is evident on “My Ever Changing Moods”. Meanwhile, the storming “Walls Come Tumbling Down”, the blue mood music of “Changing Of The Guard” and “It’s A Very Deep Sea”, and the proto-house of “Promised Land”, represent some of Weller’s best work.

Heart – The Essential Heart

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A double CD highlighting the extraordinary songwriting talents of the Wilson sisters. CD 1 takes us from the pyrotechnic folk rock of "Crazy On You" and the Ice-T-sampled "Magic Man" through the kick-ass "Barracuda" on to the Zeppelinesque blues of the early '80s, while CD 2 concentrates on their later MTV-friendly mainstream rock. It's not perfect?there's no "Mistral Wind" or "Rockin' Heaven Down" to display vocalist Ann's excessive best?but glorious nonetheless.

A double CD highlighting the extraordinary songwriting talents of the Wilson sisters. CD 1 takes us from the pyrotechnic folk rock of “Crazy On You” and the Ice-T-sampled “Magic Man” through the kick-ass “Barracuda” on to the Zeppelinesque blues of the early ’80s, while CD 2 concentrates on their later MTV-friendly mainstream rock. It’s not perfect?there’s no “Mistral Wind” or “Rockin’ Heaven Down” to display vocalist Ann’s excessive best?but glorious nonetheless.

Rory Gallagher – Wheels Within Wheels

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Even in the late '70s, when his hard-rockin' blues drew him to the New Metal fraternity, Gallagher's acoustic numbers were usually the highlight of his set. And this, a series of rootsy acoustic outtakes, jams and collaborations, collected and sensitively mixed by his brother Donal and stretching ba...

Even in the late ’70s, when his hard-rockin’ blues drew him to the New Metal fraternity, Gallagher’s acoustic numbers were usually the highlight of his set. And this, a series of rootsy acoustic outtakes, jams and collaborations, collected and sensitively mixed by his brother Donal and stretching back to 1974, sees him at his reverently wayward best. Featuring Martin Carthy, B

Roy Ayers – Destination Motherland: The Roy Ayers Anthology

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Ayers was simultaneously the most approachable and most inscrutable of jazz-funkers. This compilation correctly focuses on his '70s work, and a strange world it is, too: blissful chord sequences and much-sampled rhythms whose utopia is constantly subverted by sinister undertows?the ominous strings defying the New World optimism of "We Live In Brooklyn, Baby" or the string synthesizer cutting like an icepick through "Everybody Loves The Sunshine". Hyperactive disco classic "Running Away" earns its poignancy because the musicians are clearly running on the spot. "The Third Eye" even anticipates AR Kane's stoned dream-pop. Marvellous.

Ayers was simultaneously the most approachable and most inscrutable of jazz-funkers. This compilation correctly focuses on his ’70s work, and a strange world it is, too: blissful chord sequences and much-sampled rhythms whose utopia is constantly subverted by sinister undertows?the ominous strings defying the New World optimism of “We Live In Brooklyn, Baby” or the string synthesizer cutting like an icepick through “Everybody Loves The Sunshine”. Hyperactive disco classic “Running Away” earns its poignancy because the musicians are clearly running on the spot. “The Third Eye” even anticipates AR Kane’s stoned dream-pop. Marvellous.

The Carpenters – As Time Goes By

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One hundred million album sales later, The Carpenters remain the epitome of MOR cool, a title they hold thanks not just to the patronage of the likes of Sonic Youth but to Karen's vocal genius and the fact she died aged 32, almost a shadow of her former self. Unlike the usual hits packages, this slimmer set features an early recording of "Nowhere Man" from 1967, TV soundtrack specials and two songs, "And When He Smiles" and "Leave Yesterday Behind", that stand scrutiny with her best performances. Chuck in duets with Perry Como and Ella Fitzgerald (the latter conducted by Nelson Riddle), a sprinkling of Richard Carpenter piano arrangements and the net result is an artefact that transcends the normal medley collections.

One hundred million album sales later, The Carpenters remain the epitome of MOR cool, a title they hold thanks not just to the patronage of the likes of Sonic Youth but to Karen’s vocal genius and the fact she died aged 32, almost a shadow of her former self. Unlike the usual hits packages, this slimmer set features an early recording of “Nowhere Man” from 1967, TV soundtrack specials and two songs, “And When He Smiles” and “Leave Yesterday Behind”, that stand scrutiny with her best performances. Chuck in duets with Perry Como and Ella Fitzgerald (the latter conducted by Nelson Riddle), a sprinkling of Richard Carpenter piano arrangements and the net result is an artefact that transcends the normal medley collections.

Morphine – The Best Of Morphine

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Their career cut short by the death of leader Mark Sandman in 1999, Morphine's was a dark and perhaps unreachable world. Dana Colley's saxes stood in for the absent guitar, while Sandman's two-string slide-bass guitar ensured a textural elasticity absent from most of their contemporaries. Musically, they patrolled the grounds between noir-ish sordidness ("You Look Like Rain") and grunge-meets-punk-jazz ("Cure For Pain"). Surprisingly resourceful in their arrangements (the panoramic sweep of "Super Sex") and sometimes poignant ("The Night"), the whole is let down by Sandman's featureless, blank baritone. The strongest track is the ecstatic noise-riffing of "Eleven O'Clock".

Their career cut short by the death of leader Mark Sandman in 1999, Morphine’s was a dark and perhaps unreachable world. Dana Colley’s saxes stood in for the absent guitar, while Sandman’s two-string slide-bass guitar ensured a textural elasticity absent from most of their contemporaries. Musically, they patrolled the grounds between noir-ish sordidness (“You Look Like Rain”) and grunge-meets-punk-jazz (“Cure For Pain”). Surprisingly resourceful in their arrangements (the panoramic sweep of “Super Sex”) and sometimes poignant (“The Night”), the whole is let down by Sandman’s featureless, blank baritone. The strongest track is the ecstatic noise-riffing of “Eleven O’Clock”.

Willie Nelson – Crazy: The Demo Sessions

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Taken from a box of tapes that miraculously survived recycling, this is a prime selection of Nelson's staff-writer recordings for Pamper Publishing between 1960 and '66?his first 'proper' job in Nashville. Intended as demos for other artists to cover ("Crazy" is included), they're raw, sparse, and elevated by Nelson's unique conversational stylings, clearly presaging his early-'70s outlaw persona and revealing his lush '60s Nashville releases as a betrayal of his art and spirit.

Taken from a box of tapes that miraculously survived recycling, this is a prime selection of Nelson’s staff-writer recordings for Pamper Publishing between 1960 and ’66?his first ‘proper’ job in Nashville. Intended as demos for other artists to cover (“Crazy” is included), they’re raw, sparse, and elevated by Nelson’s unique conversational stylings, clearly presaging his early-’70s outlaw persona and revealing his lush ’60s Nashville releases as a betrayal of his art and spirit.

True Lies

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DIRECTED by Spike Jonze STARRING Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper Opens February 28, Cert 15, 120 mins Provocative, ambitious and radically original, this latest cinematic headfuck from Being John Malkovich creators Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman is a wild ride?it's scathing Hollywood satire, mind-boggling meta-fiction, and a fiendishly clever reflection on the perils of adapting someone else's work all rolled into one breathless and confounding experience. It's already been hailed as some kind of film-making miracle in the States, and now it's your turn to fall for its bewildering brilliance and kooky, chaotic charm. OK. From the top. We find screenwriter Charlie Kaufman (Cage) mooching around the set of Being John Malkovich. Kaufman is a mess, a bundle of neuroses and anxieties. He's struggling with his next job?adapting The Orchid Thief, a biography of orchid obsessive John Laroche (Cooper) by New Yorker staff writer Susan Orlean (Streep). The book's penetrating, meditative?"great, sprawling New Yorker stuff". Charlie loves it. But it lacks the structure, character arcs and dramatic tension that constitute conventional cinematic staples. "I don't want to ruin it by making it a Hollywood thing... I don't want to cram in sex, car chases or guns," he explains to his producer. Charlie's problems are compounded by his twin brother Donald (Cage again). Donald is Charlie's polar opposite?laid back, uncomplicated, confident, he's even seeing a make-up assistant from Being John Malkovich who Charlie's been unable to work up the courage to ask on a date. To make matters even worse, Donald's recently taken a screenwriting course and has begun to churn out precisely the kind of trashy, Hollywood potboilers Charlie despises. And as Charlie's writer's block grows deeper, Donald's script ("It's Psycho meets Silence Of The Lambs") gets hailed by Charlie's agent as "the best spec I've read all year". Ouch. Added to this is the fact that Charlie, who's already fallen for Orlean's prose, is gradually becoming obsessed with the author herself, to the extent where he spies on her and follows her down to Florida for a meeting with Laroche. At which point everything goes seven shades of weird. But we'll come back to that later. Let's work out what's real first. The facts are that, yes, a New Yorker journalist called Susan Orlean did write a book called The Orchid Thief, based on the life of John Laroche. Yes, it's true that Charlie Kaufman was hired to adapt it for the big screen. Yes, it's true that Charlie subsequently developed writer's block, at which point he hit on the idea of putting himself into the screenplay to try and work it out of his system. Anything else?even down to the existence of bro Donald?is the work of Charlie's imagination. The film becomes a story about creating a story, meta-fiction taken to an extraordinary level. And Kaufman's ingenuity knows no bounds; his script dazzles. He balances the 'real' sequences with Orlean and Laroche perfectly against the crazy outpourings of his imagination and, finally, brilliantly merges fact with fiction to create the kind of third act pay-off that's audacious and inspired, a scathing satire on Hollywood at its most wretched. But this isn't smug, post-ironic posturing. Just as you cared about the characters in Being John Malkovich (particularly the plight of big John himself) so you feel for Charlie as he seethes, struggles and rages. Cage is remarkable here as the brothers Kaufman?this is a return to the quirky, kooky performances he gave in Raising Arizona or Moonstruck, before big budgets and banality set in. Streep and Cooper provide the film's emotional core in the sequences adapted from The Orchid Thief?Streep turns in her best performance for years, her initial quiet composure giving way to something deeper and more primal, while Cooper burns up the screen as the unpredictable, near-psychotic Laroche. There are fine cameos, too, from Brian Cox, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Tilda Swinton?plus blink-and-you'll-miss-'em turns from Malkovich, John Cusack and Catherine Keener, which only seem to blur the lines between fact and fiction further. Hell, you'll love it all. A unique piece of cinema. The orchid stays in the picture.

DIRECTED by Spike Jonze

STARRING Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper

Opens February 28, Cert 15, 120 mins

Provocative, ambitious and radically original, this latest cinematic headfuck from Being John Malkovich creators Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman is a wild ride?it’s scathing Hollywood satire, mind-boggling meta-fiction, and a fiendishly clever reflection on the perils of adapting someone else’s work all rolled into one breathless and confounding experience. It’s already been hailed as some kind of film-making miracle in the States, and now it’s your turn to fall for its bewildering brilliance and kooky, chaotic charm.

OK. From the top. We find screenwriter Charlie Kaufman (Cage) mooching around the set of Being John Malkovich. Kaufman is a mess, a bundle of neuroses and anxieties. He’s struggling with his next job?adapting The Orchid Thief, a biography of orchid obsessive John Laroche (Cooper) by New Yorker staff writer Susan Orlean (Streep). The book’s penetrating, meditative?”great, sprawling New Yorker stuff”. Charlie loves it. But it lacks the structure, character arcs and dramatic tension that constitute conventional cinematic staples. “I don’t want to ruin it by making it a Hollywood thing… I don’t want to cram in sex, car chases or guns,” he explains to his producer.

Charlie’s problems are compounded by his twin brother Donald (Cage again). Donald is Charlie’s polar opposite?laid back, uncomplicated, confident, he’s even seeing a make-up assistant from Being John Malkovich who Charlie’s been unable to work up the courage to ask on a date. To make matters even worse, Donald’s recently taken a screenwriting course and has begun to churn out precisely the kind of trashy, Hollywood potboilers Charlie despises. And as Charlie’s writer’s block grows deeper, Donald’s script (“It’s Psycho meets Silence Of The Lambs”) gets hailed by Charlie’s agent as “the best spec I’ve read all year”. Ouch.

Added to this is the fact that Charlie, who’s already fallen for Orlean’s prose, is gradually becoming obsessed with the author herself, to the extent where he spies on her and follows her down to Florida for a meeting with Laroche.

At which point everything goes seven shades of weird. But we’ll come back to that later.

Let’s work out what’s real first. The facts are that, yes, a New Yorker journalist called Susan Orlean did write a book called The Orchid Thief, based on the life of John Laroche. Yes, it’s true that Charlie Kaufman was hired to adapt it for the big screen. Yes, it’s true that Charlie subsequently developed writer’s block, at which point he hit on the idea of putting himself into the screenplay to try and work it out of his system. Anything else?even down to the existence of bro Donald?is the work of Charlie’s imagination. The film becomes a story about creating a story, meta-fiction taken to an extraordinary level. And Kaufman’s ingenuity knows no bounds; his script dazzles. He balances the ‘real’ sequences with Orlean and Laroche perfectly against the crazy outpourings of his imagination and, finally, brilliantly merges fact with fiction to create the kind of third act pay-off that’s audacious and inspired, a scathing satire on Hollywood at its most wretched.

But this isn’t smug, post-ironic posturing. Just as you cared about the characters in Being John Malkovich (particularly the plight of big John himself) so you feel for Charlie as he seethes, struggles and rages. Cage is remarkable here as the brothers Kaufman?this is a return to the quirky, kooky performances he gave in Raising Arizona or Moonstruck, before big budgets and banality set in. Streep and Cooper provide the film’s emotional core in the sequences adapted from The Orchid Thief?Streep turns in her best performance for years, her initial quiet composure giving way to something deeper and more primal, while Cooper burns up the screen as the unpredictable, near-psychotic Laroche. There are fine cameos, too, from Brian Cox, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Tilda Swinton?plus blink-and-you’ll-miss-’em turns from Malkovich, John Cusack and Catherine Keener, which only seem to blur the lines between fact and fiction further. Hell, you’ll love it all.

A unique piece of cinema. The orchid stays in the picture.

Narc

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OPENED JANUARY 31, CERT 18, 102 MINS Director Joe Carnahan's follow-up to his micro-budget debut Blood, Guts, Bullets & Octane throws you right into the thick of things, with a breathless handheld camera following undercover cop Tellis (Jason Patric) as he chases a drug dealer. This nerve-jangl...

OPENED JANUARY 31, CERT 18, 102 MINS

Director Joe Carnahan’s follow-up to his micro-budget debut Blood, Guts, Bullets & Octane throws you right into the thick of things, with a breathless handheld camera following undercover cop Tellis (Jason Patric) as he chases a drug dealer. This nerve-jangling prologue ends in a tragedy that sees our man suspended from duty and the audience plunged into a world of cop-movie clich

Frida

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OPENS FEBRUARY 28, CERT 15, 118 MINS A project that has, in the past, been linked with both Madonna and Jennifer Lopez finally makes it to the screen thanks to star and producer Salma Hayek. Her commitment should be applauded even if the film itself fails to live up to expectations?the story of iconic painter Frida Kahlo has been too neatly arranged within a conventional 'movie-biopic' frame to do justice to her painful, tumultuous life and vivid art. Superficially at least, there's enough incident to keep it compelling; after a deathbed prologue, director Julie Taymor whisks us through the main events in Kahlo's life?her near-fatal accident aboard a tram, a marriage to womanising muralist Diego Rivera (Alfred Molina), her friendship with Trotsky (Geoffrey Rush) and her development as a painter. Hayek gives it her all but doesn't go very deep, while Taymor loads the picture with CGI effects, a Brothers Quay-created interlude and star cameos. Sadly, such decorations are no substitute for a genuinely creative imagining of what it must have felt like to be?or even be with?Frida Kahlo.

OPENS FEBRUARY 28, CERT 15, 118 MINS

A project that has, in the past, been linked with both Madonna and Jennifer Lopez finally makes it to the screen thanks to star and producer Salma Hayek. Her commitment should be applauded even if the film itself fails to live up to expectations?the story of iconic painter Frida Kahlo has been too neatly arranged within a conventional ‘movie-biopic’ frame to do justice to her painful, tumultuous life and vivid art. Superficially at least, there’s enough incident to keep it compelling; after a deathbed prologue, director Julie Taymor whisks us through the main events in Kahlo’s life?her near-fatal accident aboard a tram, a marriage to womanising muralist Diego Rivera (Alfred Molina), her friendship with Trotsky (Geoffrey Rush) and her development as a painter. Hayek gives it her all but doesn’t go very deep, while Taymor loads the picture with CGI effects, a Brothers Quay-created interlude and star cameos. Sadly, such decorations are no substitute for a genuinely creative imagining of what it must have felt like to be?or even be with?Frida Kahlo.