The good folk of Latitude are becoming more lucid and lyrical, as guest blogger Terry Staunton has discovered…
1. “I’ve embraced the concept of time, it’s just that I’m not very good at telling it right now.”
2. “Buying a brownie from an unshaven man in a field requires a leap of faith I’m not prepared to take.”
3. “Unless you’re fully committed to shitting, you’d be better off following me to the piss tent.”
4. “The thing about being friends with Tap is that no matter how many drugs you take, you’ll never reach his level of banality.”
5. “My dad’s off his face again, but at least he’s nowhere near his Van Morrison CDs.”
6. “That poet was talking about having a rhyming dictionary. Isn’t that cheating? What a fuckin’ fraud.”
7. “I’m going to an STD clinic when I get home. I’m sure I’ve caught something off that toilet seat.”
8. “Heart Of Glass got me through my exams, losing my virginity and leaving home. Their later stuff was bollocks, though.”
9. “Seriously, I thought it was called Ricky Pedia. I assumed it was a bloke with a really popular MySpace page.”
10. “I love it here. I was worried that it might be overrun by the sandals and henna brigade, but I can cope with them when they’re a healthy minority.”
TERRY STAUNTON