Wise heads are out in force at Latitude, as always, and we’ve been eavesdropping on their conversations…
1. “Jason, we really should go and see some music or something. Mummy and daddy aren’t here to stare at coloured sheep for three days.”
2. “Have you ever seen so many loud and annoying teenage girls in one place? They’ve all gone mental after their ‘A’ levels.”
3. “Okay, it’s only Thursday night and we’ve done the whole Judith thing. That leaves us the rest of the weekend to enjoy ourselves.”
4. “Wet-wipes are at a premium, so I think armpits are gonna be way down on the list of priorities.”
5. “I’d be more up for seeing The Pretenders if Chrissie Hynde didn’t look so much like my bitchy ex-girlfriend.”
6. “In years to come my children will run this place, and their first move be to close down the poetry tent. They hate poetry.”
7. “Oh, look! A green-filter light on a tree to make it look more like a tree! That speaks volumes.”
8. “I exist in my own peculiar little world, there are areas in life that I have no interest in investigating.”
9. “Those shit house doors are literally banging in the wind. I love it when real life imitates vulgar similes.”
10. “I usually don’t like performance art, but that lot didn’t make me wretch half as much as I expected.”
TERRY STAUNTON