OPENS JULY 2, CERT 12, 93 MINS
If you should happen upon some bloke in your local park surrounded by a gang of screaming kids, clutching his throat, thumping his chest, his eyes fit to bulge from their sockets, don’t dash in with the Heimlich. The poor sap’s just re-enacting the hairball scene from Shrek 2, a paternal occupation set to replace the hitherto unassailable “Don’t look down donkey” playground set-piece from the original Shrek.
The good news: Shrek 2 is great. Which is crucial considering many of us dads are doomed to sit through it hundreds of times on DVD. This time Shrek (Mike Myers), Fiona (Cameron Diaz) and Donkey (Eddie Murphy) meet new characters including Rupert Everett’s uberfey Prince Charming and Antonio Banderas’ Puss In Boots, a catnip-smoking kittiefucka.
The bad news: thanks to the trip to Far Far Away, your offspring will think it hilarious to repeatedly ask “Are we there yet?” during every car journey. Bastards!