Uncut’s Worst Gigs – Ever!

Today: The Darkness make tits of themselves, literally, at Ally Pally

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In last month’s UNCUT, our writers, friends and favourite musicians reminisced about their favourite gigs.

Well, in this month’s issue we’re looking back on the worst gigs we’ve ever seen – including The Stone Roses, Bob Dylan, Kevin Rowland and David Bowie – with rare photos from the shows too.

We’re also going to publish one of the worst gigs every day, with online exclusives, so feast your eyes on this, and be glad you weren’t there!

For the full top 30 – see the November issue of Uncut – with Led Zep’s Robert Plant on the cover.

Alexandra Palace,
February 7, 2006

TIM JONZE: On turning up to review The Darkness at Ally Pally I was under the impression that, at the very least, the band’s own fans would enjoy it. Wrong! By this time, the bolts were pranging off the Darkness fun bus at an alarming rate.

Outside, touts frantically tried to flog tickets for a tenner. Inside, a coke-bloated Justin Hawkins announced his arrival by floating over the crowd on – ho, ho – a gigantic plastic woman’s breast. Lacking the willpower to applaud – and with one girl openly weeping – the atmosphere was screaming out for Prozac.

Instead, Justin opted for the bizarre strategy of attacking his fans. “Are you still alive?” he snapped when the crowd greeted his “hilarious” re-imagining of “The Frog Chorus” with only mild ripples of applause. “I can see people going to the bar… maybe we should shut it next time,” was another choice outpouring of venom. It was repulsive, spiteful behaviour, aimed at the very people who’d made him (temporarily) rich and famous. Still, there was to be only one real loser: 12 months later, the British public booted Justin out of the Eurovision qualifiers in favour of Scooch. Ouch.


Not even UNCUTs war-weary gig-hounds have been to every show in history – but you lot probably have.

Email Allan_Jones@ipcmedia.com to share your memories, of the ones we’ve published or any which we have missed, and we’ll publish the best in a future issue


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