They’re at it again, those outdoor orators who bring their own brand of insight and wisdom to Latitude. Join us once more in a flurry of eaves-dropping…
1. “Some of the authors in the literature tent are looking a bit shell-shocked. They’re way out of their Waterstones sherry and vol-au-vents comfort zone.”
2. “You’re lucky Clive was too drunk to hit you.”
3. “I would imagine the quickest way to find out what he’s up to next would be to click on to smugtwat.com”
4. “Steer clear of the pear cider. It’s the Sunny D of alcohol.”
5. “I want to avoid the girl in the big plastic bubble on the lake. I’m still having nightmares from last year.”
6. “Have you seen that guy up on the scaffolding platform making sure nothing kicks off between the campers, like he’s a lifeguard or something? Talk about Baywatch for crusties…
7. Toilet door graffiti: “Go home, dad.”
8. “What is it with you and noodles? Seriously, have you no other topic of conversation in you at all?”
9. “Can someone please explain the whole Thom Yorke thing to me. People are talking about his little gig like it’s the resurrection of Gandhi.”
10. “I wouldn’t expect you to buy me a drink at these prices, even if you were angling for a shag.”