As everyone knows, glam rock in the UK was begat by Bowie, Bolan and Ferry, then ruined by bandwagon-jumping brickies in mascara. Well, yes and no—some of this rubbish was great fun, as compilers Bob Stanley and Phil King hereby recognise. And while the correct response is probably to chuckle at its tackiness, some of us, behind closed doors, will be punching the air and stomping along with surreal enthusiasm.

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Various Artists – Velvet Tinmine

As everyone knows, glam rock in the UK was begat by Bowie, Bolan and Ferry, then ruined by bandwagon-jumping brickies in mascara. Well, yes and no?some of this rubbish was great fun, as compilers Bob Stanley and Phil King hereby recognise. And while the correct response is probably to chuckle at its tackiness, some of us, behind closed doors, will be punching the air and stomping along with surreal enthusiasm. While The Sweet and Mud cleaned up, forgotten losers like Iron Virgin, The Plod and Bearded Lady (those names!) understood the glittery genius of Chinn and Chapman and took such staccato simplicity to the max. Ricky Wilde and Simon Turner were young and foolish; Brett Smiley was surely the dad of that bloke from Suede. Magic: I’m off to burn down school with my cosmic raygun.