Since, with a fairly grim inevitability, I'm the first of the Uncut massive to be up and about, the first highlights top ten of the festival falls to me, it seems.

Since, with a fairly grim inevitability, I’m the first of the Uncut massive to be up and about, the first highlights top ten of the festival falls to me, it seems.

Doubtless some of my colleagues will hack in later in the day and change this. But as of 11.10am, here’s our favourite things about the first day here:

1. Julian Cope’s preposterous set. When the sound cuts off, he memorably yells, “Children, tell your grandchildren that men like me once walked the earth!” Unbelievable.

2. Ross Noble leading several thousand comedy fans in a riotous conga to a veggieburger van. Crowdsurfing ensues.

3. Franz Ferdinand, chipper in the rain. We especially loved the ’40s-style cartoon backdrop and, of course, the deathless “Take Me Out”.

4. Crystal Castles. Last year it was New Young Pony Club, this year the Canadian electropunk duo bring the rave to the tranquil Sunrise Arena in the woods.

5. Black Kids. An immensely popular Clash/Cyndi Lauper hybrid. Who knew?

6. A wet and rampant crowd storming the comedy tent before the Guilty Pleasures club officially opens. Sorry about disrupting the dance routines rehearsal!

7. Boat rides on the lake. Still lovely, and we’re admiring the Pimm’s bus parked nearby, too.

8. Michael Nyman playing his score to “The Piano” and looking like Sam The Eagle from The Muppets. Tremendously classy.

9. Radio 4’s fancy lightshow on the lake at night. Advertising isn’t usually so aesthetically pleasing.

10. Paul Merton eating a baked potato. Truly, the Gods are human. . .